Fun Day Monday - Kids Say The Craziest Stuff...

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I used to love watching that old tv show "Kids Say the Darnedest Things"  So thought I would pay tribute and scour the web for a few funny ones.

Feel free to share some of your own... :)


From Thought Catalog:
  • My son when he was 6: “Dad, can we get a cat?”
    Me: “Your Mom is allergic to cats, so no.”
    My Son: “When Mom dies can we get a cat?”
    Me: “Sure.”
  • This morning, my wife told my 3-year-old daughter that owls were nocturnal. My daughter responded, “Yes, owls are not turtles.”
  • My dad has told me that when I was really young, he told me once “I don’t ever want to see you do that again.” and I responded with “okay close your eyes.”
  • I gave my son a timeout from swords, light sabers, guns and (Thor) hammers due to him being too violent/aggressive. After about 10 minutes of quiet, I went to check on him and found him building w/ his Legos.

    After I told him that I was proud of him for listening, I asked him what he was building. He told me he was building an ultimate Lego weapon so that he could destroy me.

    I think he may have missed the point, but at least he’s persistent.


  • Can I have a new mommy?  You say no too much!
  • Mom, remember when I was 2 and didn't have a phone?  That was bad.
  • Sister to Brother:  Did you cry like a baby?
    Brother: No, I cried like a man!
  • Boy to Brother: You can have this french fry, it doesn't have any boogers on it.


  • My daughter told me she can’t have a play date with her friend Dylan. Why? “Mommy he is too handsome. I can’t handle him” – Kamila
  • When I was pregnant, my girlfriend’s 3 year old asked me why I “ate my baby”  – Sarah
  • My daughter recently had an accident in her pants and announced to me: “Mommy, I was running to the bathroom as fast as I could but the poo was faster than me!!” – Liga
  • While on a road trip [years ago], my daughter insisted that her bottle of water tasted funny…I asked if it was a new bottle, she said yes. So I told her she didn’t have to drink it, if she didn’t want to. About 20 minutes later I hear her exclaim from the back seat, “OOOOOH…THAT’S WHY! It says Spring water but it’s Summer!” – Rachelle
  • I constantly have to reprimand my daughter for the amount of toilet paper she uses. I told her, “you don’t need a lot you have a little butt.” Her reply, “You must use a real lot for your big butt!” Well if you want an honest opinion ask a child! – Erin
  • When my oldest daughter was 8 or 9 and on a McDonald’s kick, we told her if she ate too many times at McDonald’s, she would puke. Her response was “If I’m puking McDonald’s, I’m puking happiness.” Thankfully we were able to get that McDonald’s addiction stopped pretty quickly! – Danelle
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